2006-02-28T23:30:00.000-08:00

Step 5

When I was still in my early stage of life, I don’t know that much about faith. I am not a religious oriented person. I don’t attend mass and I don’t have any religious organization to participate in. I used to be on the loose, always on the run without any having any direction to turn too. I have my friend s and family but they did not teach me about faith. The directions of my life seem happy but there was no satisfaction. Just like St. Augustine, my heart is restless at that time; it is restless because I am like a person walking in the desert and looking for water to quench my thirst. And the small amount of water could give back my strength and life and allow me to continue my journey. And our Lord Jesus Christ, “come to me all who are thirsty and I will give water to drink, is representing this water.

I found my life when Jesus initiated a move so that I can find the real direction in life. My faith was a little bit obscure because I don’t find time to talk to Jesus in prayer. But He is really good; He used some people to look for me in my empty waste of life. It was Him who looks for me, and even fine time to search for me, how loving and merciful Jesus is.

Until such time my heart was opened to the tangible presence of God. When the time that I used to be with my friends, I did not realize that Jesus was already there, Looking and waiting that someone would recognize Him. But no nobody take hold of that precious moment. I did not notice that while walking along the darkness way Jesus was already there with me even from the beginning of my life. What was needed during that time was my attention to recognize Him.

But I know that gift of meeting of Jesus is not easy. It is not easy to bear the gift of faith to Jesus. As long as we remain with God, challenges will always be there and come along the way. Multitude of hardships and emptiness will cover the light of the day. Until such time we become exhausted and be ready to give everything to Him and his grace will always be with us.

God through his son Jesus Christ is full of mystery and beyond our comprehension. He is full of surprises. He is free and will come at the least moment that you expect him to come. Our crooked heart will become straight when the eyes of our faith will learn to see the wonders of God’s work. Including in His work it will change the way we live. And work according to the will of God. God provides gift, which cannot be explained but only be understood by our faith.

The transformation of myself in conformity to the will of God was a gift that I cannot explain but only understood through my own faith. Hope that such that of Augustine my life will continue in service of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Step 6
The Wonderful Words

Awesome…Great…. Very Good…. Excellent…Good Job…. Well done…Magnificent…These are the words I can usually hear or read on the magazine when a man finished a certain task and being adored and congratulated by somebody. Man is capable of doing something, which’s sometimes awful in our eyes. Such for instance, A Jumbo Jet manufactured by Boeing and capable of carrying 500 passengers with their baggage’s and cargoes without even falling. You will wonder sometimes, why a one peso coin which is much lighter than the Jumbo Jet, when you throw it up in the sky it will immediately fall. Wherein a jumbo Jet that is much heavier than the one peso coin can stay in the air for long hours. How great and awful and excellent the minds of those engineers who created that thing for the benefit of the people.

Also a modern warfare technogy called the PREDATOR AN UNMANED airplane developed for the U.S. Air force to monitor the movements of the enemy without being detected. And what is amazing this unmanned airplane is being piloted from a distant, ten thousand miles away from its position and capable hitting the enemy position without the fear of human casualty.

With those thoughts in mind, I began to ask myself, what does the mind of human being comprise of that man is capable of doing such thing? Why the rest cannot even make one? Considering we are all human being, we have the same organs in the body or internal structure in the body.

Also why vary in experience such as thirst, tiredness and loneliness? If we are all human beings why we don’t share the same experience? But upon looking the rest of the creatures such as the plants, animals etc, each creature have their own function. The plants that give us the oxygen, sun enlightens our day etc. And as I turn around whom am I going to congratulate and attribute all these things, Fr. Dhems? Fr Pops? Perhaps because he is feeding the native chickens in the seminary. But what Fr. Pops is doing can be explained by my own understanding, because me too is capable of doing such thing.

In the end I began to question myself, who created their minds and delicate organs that let them live and create these amazing machines than we can see right in our very own eyes.
I found out that as I go deeper on my mind, I couldn’t fully explain everything. Because as I go thoroughly with all the things that I can see with my own eyes, I had concluded that somebody must have authored and engineered all these things. Logically and factually cannot be explained by myself but my faith alone. And I shall say to Him, great, awesome, wonderful….
God Bless! Amen! Praise the Lord!

Step 7
When I was still in my college years my only ambition in life was to finish my studies. Along the way I did not finish straight. Because of my own negligence in my studies, I have to stay outside for a while because where else would I go if not in my own town. At the time I do not have much reason and conscience to differentiate between conscience, reason and the intellect. Although I did not realize the things that I got from all the institution I’ve been to, part of it was all about conscience, reason and intellect. In short I have neglected those things which indeed essential in my life.

Going back in my hometown where I spent my life between when I am in and out of the school, I went to Sari-Sari Store to buy a merienda, outside of that store I observe was a small boy. This boy used to stay in that store and look like a malnourish. I presumed that his parents abandoned him. Upon learning the fact that he was not, his parents were just around the corner. In my everyday going to that store, and every time I buy a merienda, I used to share him a portion of what I have bought. Until such time the snack that I have was just enough for my brother, mother and myself. So that particular day I went home directly bringing the piece of snack that I have without sharing him anything. After arriving home I am bothered to the thing that I’ve done on not giving the little boy even small portion of the thing that I have.

Our conscience would knock on the door of our hearts for the reason that we don’t know. I don’t know why I have to mindful of that little boy every time I buy our snack. But thanks be to God that my eyes were opened to Him because of that little boy. It was the time that my faith in God was starting to grow but I did not take heed of that gift. But the call our conscience and reflection of past events in our life would strengthen our journey with God.

I know there will be a lot of occasions that conscience will play a greater a role. And during that moment our faith will be treated and tested with hot water to measure its sensitivity and availability. My conscience was tested many times and most of the occasions I have failed to live my faith in God. Conscience would always remind us of God’s presence in our midst.

Conscience at the same time would awaken us to remember the touching and long presence of God in the precious and tremendous moments of our life. Conscience will strengthen further our relationship with God. Conscience will further create an space to help us remember all our moments in life with God. Finally conscience will always be there with us to assist us become a real and children of God. Amen!

Step 8
While standing on the seminary ground, I observe that some animals are roaming around, such as the chicken, dogs and even birds. With what I have observed, I began to ask myself, why is it that there are many kinds of animals? Why these animals appear in different sizes? Why they are formed in different figures? Some are left in the wild others, are tamed. But my concern is not so much on the animal, but because of my curiosity that leads me to conclude that somebody else must have authored these creatures. He must be the Engineer and Architect or the Biological Engineer that can explain everything about my curiosity.

I don’t mind such thing before because as long as I am all right so be it. But because of the experience of the Spirit many things came into my mind such as the things mentioned above. And these things lead me to experience God in fullness.

When I experience God, things begin to change within me. Even in the simple things that I do, I always acknowledge the presence of God. Whether I am studying, working, washing my clothes, while walking and even watching movies. The experience of the Spirit eventually changed the whole course of my life. Things are no longer without a cause everything has a meaning. And wherever I am the hand of God is always there.

The experience of the Spirit is grace from God. It is only through the Spirit that we can appreciate or value things even it is not favorable to us. Many times I have been rejected in the school, community, and sometimes even friends but with the grace of the Spirit I was able to continue inspite of the many obstacles in life. My rejection in life taught me a lot of things that encourage me to stand firm in my always. I was challenge because of the hardships in life. It was because of rejection that I realized that God was with me all the days of my life. My eyes will open and my ears hear the sound of His voice every time I feel rejected.

But most of all, the experience of the Spirit taught me to pray deeply to God. The experience of the Holy Spirit taught me to deepen my relationship with Him. I am praying that this Spirit will lead and stay with me so that I will not forsake God. That this Spirit will encourage me more that I may be able to know the circumstances of sin and further strengthen my faith. And most of all I may be able to adore God all the days of my life. Amen!

Step 9
Before entering the seminary, I am fun of reading magazines, newspaper and other reading materials to augment my about what is happening around the globe. I am interested also on the latest technology that has been invented. I want to know what is happening to other countries and how do they affect the world base on their current situation. In short I want to know a lot of things. This thing triggers me to have such attitude because I want to be more knowledgeable than other people. I want to become superior over the rest base on intellect so that I can manipulate and have power over them. This indeed made me feel that I am a knowledgeable person.

After hearing the word of God and encountering Jesus, I realized that I am the least knowledgeable person in the world, because in my heart there are a lot of things that I have to learn and unlearned. Jesus does not want a knowledgeable and intellectual people, but a simple one who is willing to open his mind and heart to the wisdom of God. The knowledge of God is not confine to this world but in the world to come. The knowledge and intellect of Jesus teaches about life and God.

And in return my heart longs for His word and eager to hear Him and to talk to Him. I want to have that knowledge of Jesus. I want my eyes to be opened and awaken so that I can re-direct my thoughts to God. Which indeed happen to me, I was given the chance to meet Him. And my meeting with Jesus radically transformed my life. But my transformation was not easy; it took a lot of courage that step-by-step I have to caution myself not to loose the gift of this meeting with Jesus. It needs the guidance of the Holy Spirit. It requires prayer and openness to one’s self. Dialogue must be constant not only to Jesus and the Holy Spirit but also to myself. And this dialogue continues in the Holy Eucharist. The Eucharist is the sacrament that made Jesus present as to how he made himself present to his apostles.

I know encountering Jesus is not that easy, there will be lot of challenges that waits along the way. Hindrances and obstacles along the journey will be encountered. River that I need for my journey if in case I will get thirst will run out of water. But I know along the journey He will ask, “Who touch my cloth?” for He will recognize me if I am going to touch his cloth. I am going to climb the Fig Tree if I need too in order to let Him know that I am here doing my best to finish my journey. If fences will be build along our way I will destroy it in order to reach Him. But most of all I will continue to remember His words and teaching and cherish the moment the first time that I met him. That even without His physical presence people will continue to remember Him through me because of living the life after his example. Amen!

Step 10
“Come and follow me,” why not? If that is what you want, I am very much willing and available. With open arms and feet I will follow you, and I will even sing, “I will follow you whenever you will go my love.” Sounds awed and easy. Come and follow me was an invitation of Christ address to each one of us, and most of all to those are willing to live a celibate life. I answered His call by present status in life as a seminarian.

I thought to follow Christ was just an easy thing to do. Because the “pastures are green” and “plenty of rooms to rest upon. Partially it was true because for these past few years in the seminary everything was smooth and easy. If you want to rise we have our bell ringers. If I want to eat we have our personnel to cook our food. If I want to read our library is wide open. In between days we have our snack. All we have to do is just to study, pray and participate in the laborandum. What a nice life! I think I am the richest student in the whole world because everything is provided. We even have our mass everyday. Oh common! Do I have to look for something else? Am I not satisfied with all the things that I have?

As I go on with my seminary life and continue to follow
Christ things are not that easy as thought to be. Because to follow Christ requires a total transformation of one’s self to God. The demand to carry the cross everyday was also an invitation to do. And to think I did not carry my cross everyday of my life. In my life there were even instances that I deny Him. I forgot to love my enemy to be identified as genuine follower of Jesus Christ. I thought I am a rich student only to realize that I am still poor in my spiritual life.

I did not see that the journey of Christ was long way to Calvary. Where He poured his own blood and sweat to empty Him and later to be found rich in the eyes of Almighty God. He opened my eyes that to follow Him was also to pour my own blood and sweat on my journey to Calvary.

The denial and emptiness of one’s self was all what Jesus wants. It was not only to study, pray and work in the seminary but also to transform myself when Jesus invited me to come and follow Him. I realized that to follow him was the most difficult thing to do and very challenging.

And to pour my own sweat and blood out is to accept one’s out and downs life. Meaning I have to accept my own weakness and limitation in life. I need to drain my own poverty, pride, jealousy, and all obstacles in life that can hinder my growth in Christ.

2006-02-28T23:22:00.000-08:00

Reflection on step 4

Ignorance is supposed to be overcome by each person. Because ignorance can create confusion, misunderstanding, trouble and even misleading statement to other people. Ignorance come in many forms, ignorance of the civil law, medicine, social science, mathematics etc. in spite of this few people dare to confront this issue. You can count little organization, NGO’s, government that gives emphasis on this aspect. That’s why many people are brought to confusion because of ignorance.

You can see people infected by an HIV because of ignorance of such disease. Some experience injustice because of ignorance about the civil law and other thing. But what is more crucial if people are ignorant of the thing that is essential in our life and that is about spiritual matter, ignorance about God so to say.

Out of my ignorance I was able to picture God in a very different way. With all the things that are happening around the world I blame God as if He has something to do with all of these. I grab the hands of God for he must be blamed for all these sufferings that we have experienced. I picture Him as a punisher and strict Father who does not care in the affairs of His children. But above all of these I realized that it is because of my ignorance of God that I was able to picture Him as punisher, a hostile God perhaps. Therefore the major contributor of the wrong image of God that was pictured in my mind and heart is my own ignorance of Him. It was because that I am not a religious s oriented person, nor I grew up in a religious oriented family. That’s why my understanding of God is very narrow.

But part of my life I discovered that I am bestowed with a gift of freedom, freedom that has the power to eliminate the strange picture of God in my mind and heart. All of my thoughts, actions, words and even deeds were affected by the kind of God that was implanted in my heart.

The very first thing that I did I become sensitive to my environment. I pay attention to all the things that surrounds me. Until such time that I notice I am inside the convenience store who sells materials for painting. I bought al the necessary things that I need and drew the picture of God afterwards. Although I was not able to draw Him perfectly but with my perseverance at he end I was able to have Him perfectly.

The store that I mentioned was that of God and the caretaker was Jesus Christ. Jesus Christ sells to us the entire material thing that we need in order to picture His Father very well. But of course we cannot do this in an overnight stay in order to eliminate the wrong picture and notion about God, but with perseverance and dedication in the name of Christ we will prevail.

Afterwards we are all the people who belong to the body of Christ, the Church. We must help and encourage each other. We have to fight ignorance, both on the physical and spiritual aspect. Because once ignorance will be overcome, our faith will be further strengthened and will eliminate in our hearts and mind the wrong image of God.

heroic